They make it easy for you to have lengthy WhatsApp conversations with your friends when you should really, really be sleeping – maybe at 1 a.m. or some days close to 5 a.m., and you’re all exhausted and yet no one can seem to stop talking about the Civilized Frog Thread on Twitter or the fact that my mom moved our microwave to the garage. You’re all too busy swapping your specially curated collections of memes, and sharing pictures of what decadent mass of sugar you’ve baked that day.
Maybe you’re swapping book recommendations – everything from Jane Austen to “Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You” – or maybe you’re just making a voice note of your own laughter to show that you really cannot stop laughing at that stupid, stupid typo. Maybe you’re all swapping heart emojis, or maybe it’s a roast-fest where no one comes out unscathed.
(The roast fests are always better. Somehow, they communicate love that goes beyond heart emojis.)
Of course, there are times when you have deeper conversations. About gender inequality. About stereotyping and faith. About what to do when you fight with your siblings. About neocolonialism or structural inequality. About what to do when you feel stuck in a rut and you’re watching your youth grow less young by the day.
Or maybe someone shares her dreams, and you all tell her that yes, absolutely, she can get there. You vow to buy her book when it’s published. You promise you’ll be there for her inaugural address. You “hire” one of them as your own manager so that she reminds you to make something of yourself.
Those are good times, too.
But most of the time it’s just the load of you, high off a lack of sleep and unable to put the phone down even though you’ll hate yourself for it later. (But only just a bit.) You’re sharing articles and TikToks and making dumb jokes only this one groupchat would understand. You make plans to buy an island (it’s cheaper than a house in Manhattan!), and you pledge to never drift apart, even when you’re all old and have kids and lame husbands.
And all the while you never leave your bed, but when you finally put your phone down, you still drift off thinking about how lucky, how blessed you are to have these moments with your friends.